Back to basic IOUs

We are now over 14 months into this strange, new world that we are beginning to know as the Covid Era.  I keep trying to look for the pearls of wisdom, as well as the hidden gifts to be garnered from it.  I know there are several, and I have worked to appreciate each of them: the quiet time with family that was so absent in our busy, hectic lives, the chance to dig in, purge, and clear 'stuff' that time didn't allow for previously.  The home-cooked meals...although I could certainly live without the decisions of what to cook day in and day out and day in again.  There have been blessings for us, but I know there have been headaches and heartaches for so very, many people...and yes, for us as well.  

I've always lived my life as a 'glass have full' kind of girl, and believe that it has served me well over the years.  It's who I am as a product of my ancestry.  I doubt many of us would be here today if we didn't come from the bloodlines of people that believed there were always possibilities to push towards.  I am the dream of my grandparents, great grandparents, and all the generations that came before me, and I am so very lucky. 

But even that glass half full mentality has felt like it's wearing and thin of late.  I know we are so lucky that all the pandemic fallout hit at this stage of our lives where we are closer to the end than the beginning.  The years we've put in doing the work have left us reasonably secure. We don't have kids we are trying to home school because we have no choice.  We don't have jobs and businesses that we aren't sure will survive the constant changes to what is allowed and what is not.  We no longer have aging parents or my son with us to care for.  We do worry about our children, grandchildren, friends, and family...but it's not the hands-on, 'how do we get through this' kind of worry.  It's more a niggle at the back of the neck as the day goes on.  We are very fortunate.

But even I feel that I'm struggling through this.  The endless days of restricted options and lack of direction are wearing on me.  Nightly, I settle in and try to make a solid plan for 'what I am going to accomplish tomorrow', but so many of those plans do not materialize into anything that I can concretely say that I actually did do.  And for someone that has always kept pushing life forward, it's a strange and unsettling feeling. 

Last night, I decided that I needed to go back to my IOUs and focus on them more closely in the days ahead. I realized that is my responsibility at this moment in time.  Maybe that focus and intention will give me the direction I need to keep navigating these times in a positive and meaningful way that I can look back upon years from now and feel content with. 

My IOUs are very clear.  Music, Writing, Trust, Wisdom, and Creative.  I have done well with the 'Music' throughout this.  I happened to sign up for a sync songwriting course in August of 2019 and was building my tribe through that.  I will be honest in saying that that focus and tribe has really been what I have leaned on and drawn from day in and day out through much of this. Music brings me joy, and there hasn't been a day in these last many months that I haven't picked up the guitar, written something, practiced, or talked music with my circle.  That has been a blessing.  It touches upon my other IOUs as well.  However, I need to be more intentional about them.

With that, I know I need to get back to writing more again, so this is my attempt to start. My fight, as I'm certain many of you will understand, is that struggle with the 'imposter syndrome' that so many of us share.  I have this internal NEED to write, to document, to share.  I can't help it, it's part of who I am.  It's one of my IOUs, and with the months of sorting and purging that I've been doing, I've been reminded that it's been a force in my life for as long as my memory goes back.  Poems, little stories, songs, letters...write, write, write.  I need to get back to honoring that part of myself, and not worry about the 'what' I am going to write about.  I need to focus on the 'why' I need to do it.

My why is also wrapped up in the other IOUs...my trust that someone somewhere might benefit from my thoughts and sharing, the understanding that at sixty years old I have acquired a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom and that those things might ease another's journey...or they may jumpstart another's success as so much of what I did learn came about the hard way.  Maybe my jotting things down and putting them out into the world will save someone else from having to go through some of that. Or maybe it won't. I don't know. But if I don't put it out there, I never will. Heck, if I do put it out there, I likely never will!  But I'm like my Grandfather in many ways, planting his apple orchard, knowing that he'd likely never really enjoy the fruit of his labors, but always trusting that we would...just as we have for decades since that time.  Someday someone somewhere might get what they need from the seeds I plant. 

How are you doing through all of this? Have you found ways to make sure that each day is meaningful, even though they are different? Have you taken the time to define what your own IOUs are? Here's the link to the IOU assessment that we share in our book 'True North: Great teams are built, not born'.  I'd love for you to take a few moments and go through it for yourself and see what comes out. Drop a line in the comments to let me know what you discover.
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For myself, realizing that those things that bring me the most joy and benefit the most other people are my own IOUs has given me a boost to keep moving forward for another day.  So with that, let the writing go on!  
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