I haven’t known Erin Miller for very long, a year or so maybe.  For some reason, she invited me to be friends on Facebook.  We have much in common really, in spite of our 17 year age difference.  Life experiences bring people together, commonalities make us close.  I guess that’s what happened here. 


I lost my son Shane in 2009.  Erin lost her son Chad Miller in 2014.  Our boys lived completely different life stories.  Shane lived his life with a diagnosis of Cerebral Palsy and all the fullest, most challenging pieces of what that means.  Chad lived life large as a very talented hockey player, and athlete.  But what they had in common was mothers who adored them, families that loved and supported every step of their short lives, friends whose lives were forever altered when the unthinkable happened.  The devastated Moms they left behind were also a common thread in the fabric of the story of their lives.  Women whose lives were forever altered having lost such huge pieces of their hearts. 


Although Facebook connected us, we didn’t actually meet until late last fall, after the launch of her foundation #MillerStrong17.  Before we escaped the harsh Canadian winter by heading south, I messaged Erin when I was heading into Winnipeg.  We met and the connection was instant and deep, as we realized our shared experiences.  

A couple of months ago, Erin sent me a page from Chad’s journal.  She hadn’t known that he kept one until after his death, but in discovering it, she’s received an ongoing gift of words, wisdom and love from him.  The page she sent to me told of his love and admiration for his Mom.  How ‘Strong’ she was.  About her having had him when she was only fifteen.  Of all she did and gave to ensure that he had the amazing life he was living.  Of her strength in being able to ‘keep giving love, and giving life’ regardless of the circumstances of their lives or what people might believe.  Erin asked if I might be able to write a song reflecting some of what he had shared through his own words.  The result was my newest song, simply titled ‘Strong’.  


‘Strong’ is in honor of Chad, but is a tribute to every single person who has walked through the fire and come out on the other side.  Singed by the flames of life, altered by events and in reality, changed forever…but ‘Strong’ because of it.  


There was a time I really hated when people would refer to me as strong.  “You are so strong, being able to handle having a child with a disability.  You are so strong in the way you supported your loved ones through cancer and their eventual deaths.  You are so strong to be able to share your experiences.  And the ultimate….what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…or the Big Guy only gives you what your’e strong enough to handle.”  There comes a time when you just want to shout ,ENOUGH ALREADY!  I really don’t need any more strength!  


But in reflection, strength has been the gift that has allowed us to come out the other side of the imaginable.  It’s what’s allowed us to offer hope and inspiration to others who just don’t know if they can get through the next hour, day, week.  It’s what has supported us to move forward into the new now that is our lives, and offer support to others that may need to borrow from the strength that has gotten us to where we are today.  


That is what the hope for ‘Strong’ is.   I want those that hear it to know that strength is within them as well, and that there are many of us walking this road alongside them. There are so many people making the best of life’s worst situations, keeping our heads above the waters of grief that threaten do drown us.  Scarred people who are changing the world in little ways with the hope of leaving it a better, gentler place for others following in their footsteps.  People who have found  their own ‘strong’ and are using it as a force of good for others. 


#MillerStrong17 is in its infancy, but as the #MillerStrong17 family continues to grow its reach and numbers, the strength of those numbers has the potential to elevate the vibration of this struggling world, one person at a time.  Together, there is the potential to make change through finding and using our own strength and utilizing it to its best purpose.


As Rumi said, “we are all just walking each other home.”  May we each take whatever it is that makes us ‘Strong’ and resilient and use it to make this journey the best it can be for each person we meet along the way.   May we find ways to support each other, lifting each other up and offering a lifeline when we can.  May our love enable others to find their own sense of ‘strong’ when they don’t think they have the ability to get through one more day.  You can!  You will find…you will know…then you will be ‘strong’ and your story may be the one that others will rely upon to know that they can get through life’s worst moments as well.  

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​So, I will be the first to admit that I never expected that part of my journey would include becoming an author of children’s books...but here I am, with four under my belt, and two that I helped publish.  Interesting how life unfolds, isn’t it?
 
It’s another opportunity that I have to attribute to Shane and his teachings.  It started with him needing a voice of his own, when life circumstance didn’t allow that for him.  So , to assist with that, I started creating books for him when he was a child.  Books that he could take to school just to share his story and experiences at a level the other kids at that particular time could understand.  It worked beautifully!
 
What it also did was help me to understand that children are the place to start in making change in our world.  Being able to plant seeds in the fertile grounds of their open minds is where our greatest possibilities for change can happen I believe.  Not to brainwash, but simply to help them know and question those things that the adults around them may not have had the opportunity to know themselves, because, admit it...we grew up in a different time.  A time where people with disabilities were hidden away.  A time where the Residential School system was never talked about or acknowledged.  A time where bullying was accepted, because that’s just what kids do.  A different time, but not necessarily a better time by any accounts.
 
Fast forward twenty years, and I decided to self publish those little books, at least two of them.  Shane’s Big Adventure 1 and Shane's Big Adventure 2.  I did that so when we talk about them in presentations, they are available to purchase if attendees choose to have them as an example or a tool for promoting acceptance, inclusion, understanding and possibilities for all children who live life differently. 
 
When I finished them, it came to me that Bianca’s experience with Tyson in helping him to understand what Orange Shirt day was all about would make another great story for kids, to help them better understand its meaning.  That also has become a great resource to share...basically the same things...acceptance, inclusion, understanding and possibilities, and to help them understand their roles in being part of reconciliation and healing Canada’s past. Tyson’s New Orange Shirt has helped with that I believe.
 
Most recently, upon gifting a copy of that book to some of my other grand-kids, the discussion came to what could ‘we’ write about if given the chance?  Lynden suggested that as we talked about Orange Shirt Day with Tyson, maybe we could talk about Pink Shirt Day with his family.  Thus began the next project.
 

At first, there was a challenge to think about how to address the topic of bullying, but then it came to me that as a writer, talking about what we know can be beneficial for ourselves and our readers.  It was then I decided the best approach to this topic was to tell my own story, and the result was ‘You could Be the One’.  I only now realize how cathartic and healing sharing my story has been for myself!
 
‘You Could Be the One’ allows me to tell the story of my own childhood, where I was bullied terribly in Elementary School.  I was a new comer to the area, I was chubby, I was alone.  All things I didn’t understand or know until the bullying began, and it was incessant for a long, long time.  I was so lucky that each night I got to get away from it, go home to a Mom and Dad who worked so hard to rebuild my spirit and keep me moving forward, and for a time...get away from it. There was not the technology available that haunts today's kids when the bullying starts.  
 
Then the day came when the bullying stopped, and it all happened because an older girl saw what was happening to me and said enough is enough.  Her name was Sharon Myran.  She became my hero, my guardian and my example in life.  She saved my beaten little heart and helped to make school fun again, a place I wanted to go...because my friend...my first friend..was there.  She changed my world for the better.
 
‘You Could Be the One’ shares my story of Sharon.  It shares how maybe you could be the one to stop bullying when you see it, or if not, be an ally to the child being bullied in whatever way you can.  It also offers the hope and insight, that even though bullying was and is awful,  it will end.  Life does get better, easier, kinder with time.  Sadly, so many kids don't live to know that, and take irreversible steps in the midst of the pain they are suffering. 

​Maybe somewhere, someday, one child will read this book and it will plant that seed of hope in them...to hang on and ride it out.  My bigger hope is that it will plant the seed of kindness in others, so that bullying will become a thing of the past.  It’s a big dream...but each dream has to start somewhere.  

For several weeks now we’ve been watching the movement of the American youth, as they take on the challenge of the gun law legislation in the USA.  In the first 16 weeks of 2018 there have been 20 school shootings that have resulted in loss of life or serious injury.  The worst of this year occurred at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida where 17 unsuspecting students and adults were slaughtered. 
 
In the aftermath of that shooting, there have been youth led protests and marches across the United States which have rippled over into all parts of the world.  In the protests, youth as young as 11 have begun to demand that society take a deeper look at what is happening as a result of the current gun legislation and imploring adults to do something about it before any more young lives are lost to the senseless gun violence that is becoming all too common in the lives of today’s children. 
 
One of the lines that stuck out for me in the midst of watching all of these things take place across the nation was one commentators remark that “not finding any leadership, they have created it.”  What a powerful statement on the potential and the passion that these young people are exhibiting.  What promising hope they give us for a better tomorrow, in spite of the damaged world that we are handing down to them.  Given the tools, resources and support, I believe that they offer us hope of a world that is more compassionate, that is safer, that is greener and that is more inclusive that the one we see today.  They are our future, so how to we help them to create the best one possible?
 
With my children’s books, I attempt to reach kids in the early years and ask them to think about diversity, inclusion, friendship and belonging.  I believe that the earlier we can get kids thinking about those things, the stronger their belief in a world that includes those qualities will be.  The more we are able to help children to know that we all need to feel that we belong is instrumental in having so many of today's challenges resolved.  If we can look at one another through eyes that see our similarities rather than our individual differences, there is a chance some of these attacks could be stopped.  If some of the outcast individuals that commit many of the crimes had a stronger sense of self worth, would they act the way they have?  It’s not the answer to all of the worlds problems, but at my core I do believe that it’s the start of something better.
 
Then I think about the Youth Leadership Camps that we are working to create through  Mark McGregor Leadership, I can only imagine how far these impassioned youth could take the world if they had the tools and inner strength our camps offer.  What if these young people had the resources and skills offered to them when they are 18 years old, and still have the energy, enthusiasm and commitment to make their world all that they believe it can be?  What if they were given the opportunity to better understand the power of coaching and were able to lead others to follow the dream they see of what is possible in the years ahead?  What if at 20 years old they had the opportunity to really be supported to dedicate intense and intentional time towards understanding their own values, vision and to know what their mission in life was at the beginning of the journey, instead of learning those things closer to the end?  What if?
 
It’s true that so many people have never had the opportunity to think about that until they reach their 40s or 50s and only begin to think about those things when a personal crisis occurs.  They’ve burned both ends of the candle for so long that yes, they’ve accumulated the material things that our society conditions us to believe we need to have to be effective, contributing members of the economic based world we live in.  But in the accumulation of ‘stuff’, how many of us have lost ourselves?  As coaches, it’s very often those people that come to us in hopes of making sense of lives that no longer make sense.  They followed the rules, got the job, the house, the wife, the car but in exchange they gave up many of their dreams, passions and have never accessed or used the innate gifts that they were born with. Although they have acquired all the material possessions that we are driven to 'need', the efforts to do so have sabotaged their marriages, relationships with children and in many cases their connections to their own selves.   As their lives edge closer to the finish line than the starting point, they now seek to understand who they are.  Why are they here? What is their true purpose and is there still time to live that purpose in a meaningful way?
 
The answer of course is yes!  It’s never to late to start, to reflect, to hit the reset button and begin anew.  But in that same vein, it’s never to early either?  Our greatest hope for the Youth Vision Camps is that we can take our own decades of struggling, learning and finally truly understanding, and share what we’ve come to know with those that are beginning their unique journeys.  Imagine one of these passionate, fiery young adults having the opportunity to truly know what their values are so that they can create a life that reflects those values at all times.  What might happen if they know what they’re passionate about, and instead of following the herd and getting the Bachelor of Arts degree, because that what seems sensible, they were encouraged to dive into that passion with tools and support to see what might be possible? To follow their hearts?
 
Vision Camps are created in hopes that we can take our years of knowledge and ‘pay it forward’ to the youth that attend, so that they can be fast-tracked to where they want their lives  to head.  They've been designed to help them to begin the journey with the end in mind, by understanding the importance of vision.  Help them to know it’s okay to question the status quo,  that there is always more than one way to get to where you want to be in life, and to know that it’s okay to question the way it’s always been...because the way it’s always been isn’t necessarily the right way. 
 
Every generation has rolled their eyes and shook their heads at the generations coming up behind them, wondering how they are ever going to survive in ‘our’ world as we’ve created it.  It’s time for that to stop, because ‘our’ world is going to be handed over to tomorrows leaders, so instead lets help them to be as strong, equipped and supported as they can be, because it isn’t just our world that they hold in their hands....it’s our future.