Last week I made a return trip to Manitoba for ‘I love to read Month’.  It wasn’t a particularly long planned for trip.  I’d been intent on staying out of the cold Manitoba winter weather.  That was, after all, a great part of the reason we chose to move to the West Coast two years ago!  But I’d been enticed by a friend, who’d written to remind me that as it was ‘I love to Read Month’ and as I was an author, I should be there.  After being steadfast on my decision not to go back in February, I went back to Manitoba in February.  ‘I Love to read’ felt too important to miss.
 
I decided that this time I would focus on my “Shane’s Big Adventure” Books, because I had done ‘Tyson’s Orange Shirt’ last September and have hopes of doing it again this fall if the Universe permits.  I know that Shane’s story has become old to some, and others may feel I should let it go and move on, but that’s not what my heart says.  My heart says that I learned way too many important things during that journey through this world with that young man not to share it.  As the anniversary of the 9th year since his passing approaches, I feel just as committed to sharing those lessons now as I did when he was with me.  If one child who experiences life similarly is seen in a new light, or if one child who sees a child with a similar life path becomes a bit more compassionate towards that child, or a parent with a special needs child feels a little more empowered, then it is all worth it. ​

​Over the course of the week that I was back in Manitoba, I read to 8 different schools.  I can’t estimate how many children, because some schools had me read to each class separately, while others congregated the kids together.  Each session started with sharing a little bit about Cerebral Palsy, and bit about Shane’s life, the reading of his first adventure, then his second, followed up with my singing his “When you Look at Me” song.  There was always lots of time left for questions.  The age groups ranged from kindergarten through to Grade 8.  The questions varied just as much, with many veering off in unexpected directions discussing and sharing grief and loss.  And that was okay, because I believe that conversations unfolded as they needed to for the children that were there with me in the room at that moment. 
 
I know Cecil and I will question ourselves about the cost of some of my choices to return for things like ‘I love to Read’, presenting ‘Just my Friend’ or talking to kids about Orange Shirt Day.  It is certainly making good use of our kid’s potential inheritance!  But beyond that, doing these things always feeds my soul in totally unexpected ways, and I know in my heart of hearts that I’m doing the right thing.
 
One of the most cherished comments I received was that ‘Your Mom and Dad would be so proud of the work you continue to do.’ I walked away believing that they would be, were they still here.  On that weekend, we had to go out to our house at the farm to do some work on our old home, now being used as a rental property until we make final decisions over the directions our lives are taking.  We’d cleaned everything out of the house when we moved two years ago, but on a shelf in the very back of the basement I found a card that had been left behind.  It was from Mom and Dad for a birthday sometime in the past.  Now I’m a bit of a hoarder when it comes to cards and keepsakes, and I know I have no shortage of cards tucked away, but I don’t often pull them out.  As well, they were on the far side of the country, but here was this single card, addressed to me and the verse inside was all I needed to be reminded my angels are always with me:

​It was a reminder that all is well.  For whatever I give to keep living the roles I have, there is always more received in return. So here were a few of my biggest takeaways:
 

• Reading my stories to kids who realized in our discussion that they were born the year Shane died.  His story now lives in the memories of those who came after.
• A little girls excitement when she saw the symbols I’d used in Shane’s first book were the same ones she was learning with.  She couldn’t verbalize her excitement, but she was certainly able to share.
• Seeing how the things Shane taught me and those he affected in Pine Creek twenty years ago are benefiting a child who is learning there now.  The knowledge that inclusion is possible paving the way to ensure it’s happening in other places.
• Reconnecting with educators in so many different schools.  Folks who had crossed paths with him and carried a piece of him with them.
• Reading to my grandson’s school, seeing the pride in their eyes, noticing that their fingers were drumming time to my song even though they likely would preferred they didn’t. 
• Having one Grade 5 student hear Shane’s song and say, “He must be so proud of you every time he hears you sing that for him.”
• Meeting a Mom whose son’s journey has been so impacted by Shane’s groundwork, knowing that because ‘we made it work with Shane’, having that repeated to her over time has led to it also working for her child.

 
 
At the end I was full and depleted at the same time.  Exhausted and exhilarated simultaneously.  So glad I’d made the decision to go and do this, for whatever reasons I give myself to justify my choices.
 
And when one person commented that they were so happy that I continued to talk and share about that journey, I heard my self say…”It’s part of my life’s mission.” And it is.  I wasn’t gifted with all this learning and wisdom not to pass it on in ways that work.  I’m grateful I was encouraged to do so.  I’m grateful I am physically and financially able to.  I’m grateful to all that allowed me to share over those days.  When it comes down to it, I’m just grateful.
 
Life is a beautiful circle of having the heartbreak turn into such incredible blessings.  To live through the dark and to be able to see the brilliance of the light that is today.
 
Until next time, 

A couple of years ago, while I still lived in Manitoba and was still the Senior Coordinator for Innovative Life Options (LIFE Inc), I was involved in what we lovingly called the ‘Kitchen Table
Talks’. The project was created to bring families who had a child living with a disability and who were not yet being provided services in the adult world together for open, engaging conversation.  Our hope was that we could garner some wisdom from these families as to how things were working, what they were most proud of, what would be most helpful and what ideas they had for their son or daughter’s future.

​We learned, more deeply, what we already knew.  Families are amazing!  They are strong, resilient, innovative and are hungry for information that will make their child’s life as full, inclusive and meaningful as each of our own lives strive to be.  By keeping our conversations on the 'Appreciative Inquiry' stream, whereby we focused on what had gone well that we could build upon, rather than things that were not, we were able to garner a glimpse of the amazing things that families have done to provide the best they can for the children they so dearly love, whether their child is a youth, or an adult.

We realized much of what the families most wanted to know more about were things that could best be answered by other families who had walked this path.  To build upon the wonderful initiative started, it was decided the next step would be to gather some of those answers, and I had the great privilege of being chosen to move the project forward. 

​It was decided that the best way to do that would be to compile a book through interviewing families using the questions that had arisen in the Talks.  I sent out a call to the families I knew that were involved with ‘In the Company of Friends’, Manitoba’s self-directed, independent living model for adults with developmental disabilities.  Ten families came forward to share their stories, and ‘Family Matters’ was born. 

It was wonderful to spend the time in deep, connected conversation with the amazing people that participated.  Many of them had been as much a support to me when I was raising Shane as I ever was to them in my working role.  They shared, inspired, laughed and often cried, as they recounted the joys and the challenges of the lives we come to know on the unexpected roads of the world of disabilities.  It was humbling to be given that intimate glimpse into each of their lives, and to be given their trust and faith that their story would be shared with dignity and respect, so that those who might benefit from their wisdom would.

So now the project is completed.  ‘Family Matters’ has been published and shares these stories through the voices of the families that have lived the experience. These stories talk about inclusion, support networks, relationship development, the education system and of the many incredible steps that each family took to make sure that what their child needed to be a part of their community was put in place. 

The book, ‘Family Matters’ is now available on Amazon, in both hard copy and on Kindle.  At only 140 pages, it’s an easy, informative read where it can be picked up and explored one chapter/one unique story at a time. 

It was the hope of every parent that participated and myself that in sharing our journeys, another parent raising a child with different, special needs, might feel a little less alone as they journey through life.  Our hope was that something that we learned, some pearl of insight or achieved wisdom might take some of the bumps out of the road for another.

Parents are truly the greatest experts when it comes to what is needed and what is possible for their child. Parents also have to appreciate and then build upon the efforts and the work of the ones that came before, so that we can keep moving our world forward into one that is more inclusive, accepting and accessible for all persons, with and without disabilities.  Family matters provides some of the history and structure that was laid as foundation of the work for the building that needs to continue.  Maybe that work can be achieved a little more quickly and a little more easily, by sharing our lessons and learning, so that previously invented wheels might not have to be recreated.

Thanks to all that contributed.  Thanks also for taking the time to read this.  Please share this information as far and wide as you can, so that all parents who might benefit from the opportunity to access and read these stories, will know that they are there waiting for them!
​
Much love, 

Amazon Reviews:
5 out of 5 stars:  A MUST READ!!!!
ByAmazon Customer on August 20, 2017
Verified Purchase
This book is a very touching book with many stories. Everybody should read it! Teachers and families that have a challenged child in their family should definitely read it! Helps to give you support you need!

4 out of 5 stars:   Great work!
ByAmazon Customer on August 3, 2017
Format: Paperback
ICOF is a new concept for me, but I'm already a huge fan. Great work!

5.0 out of 5 stars Overcoming obstacles and ignorance to lead normal fulfilling lives is at the heart of this amazing read. Lynda is extraordinary writer who tells her ...
Bydixietomchukon September 11, 2017
Format: Paperback
An interesting and honest review of the lives of families living with a child with special needs. Overcoming obstacles and ignorance to lead normal fulfilling lives is at the heart of this amazing read . Lynda is extraordinary writer who tells her story and that of others in an open and honest way . There is help and resources available which is pointed out throughout the book. I love how the stories are told by answering 18 thought provoking questions.

I've become so impassioned with my beading and wind chimes, that I've now opened my own Etsy Store!  Who'd have believed it! Check out my Singing Dolphin Wind Chimes when you have a chance!

​I’m not sure when it began again for me.  I think it was March.  I knew the grand kids were coming out to visit for 10 days, and that might have been what spurred the purchase.  It could have been my ideas of what we could do for some ‘fun’ inside should the rainy days that we’d experienced for weeks and weeks continue.  It could have been my conviction, finally, to get rid of some of the seashells that we’ve been collecting from every trip we’ve taken to be near water in the last 10 years.   I’d always managed to drag bags of them home, but had yet to decide on what to do with the collection.  There was always an idea in the back of my head of things I ‘could’ do when the time and opportunity arose, but they remained just ideas, until the last two months.   Regardless of what triggered the purchases, I found myself in the local Walmart looking for some beads that could be used to pretty up some sort of creation, my thought being to make wind chimes out of the shells that were gathering dust.
 
The first time I sat down and actually worked on the craft was with a girlfriend who was visiting from the prairies.  We had a great evening creating our beginner versions of the shell chimes, that would hang as reminders of good times spent together.   The second time was with my grandsons, one working on a wind chime that he would take home with him, the other working on a necklace that spelled out his name and used his favourite colour. Then everyone headed for their respective homes and I was left with the beads...and the shells...and a passion to create once again.

​I am not sure exactly how soon after that that it hit me.  I was working on restringing a wind chime that had been my Mother’s, having made the decision to start using beads and baubles from some of the old jewelry that sat in boxes in my storage.  Stuff that had been my Grandmother’s, or my aunts, or my Mom’s.  Junk jewelry, that I hadn’t the heart to throw out, but had no desire to use or wear myself.   So the dismantling began.  Cutting threads, snipping wire, organizing colors, then putting the pieces back together in a new way that said ‘Lynda was here’. 

By about the third creation, it all came back to me.  I love this!  I had loved beading and creating as a child, but had completely forgotten for over forty years.  As I sat at the kitchen breakfast nook, threading the little glass beads onto the fish line, one delicate bead at a time, the memory of doing this as a child came flooding back, and the joy filled my spirit. 

​We learned about it in elementary school, and I don’t even truly remember who it was that taught us.  Something tells me it was Stella Smoke or maybe it was Tony Myran, who were two Indigenous mentors brought in to the school to work with students who were being mainstreamed into our typical education system, and I realize today, they were likely the first students in that situation.  After generations of Indigenous children being sent to Residential Schools, those that we started Grade 1 with were among the very first to have escaped that system.  But inclusion came with challenges, as all inclusion does at the beginning.  The mentors were brought into try and ease some of those challenges by being examples to the Indigenous students, and educators to the rest of us.  The beading, I remember, was one of my favorite learning, and once I’d learned the basics of it, I would spend hours and hours at home creating headbands, name tags, small pieces of work that filled me with so much pride.  I never achieved the intricate, detailed pieces that the ladies from the neighboring reserves were so gifted at creating, but I still loved the little bit that I did do.
As I sat at my kitchen counter I finally remembered that.  As with the resurgence of any passion, I’ve been diving into this with both feet as I scan Walmart for more beads, garage sales for discarded jewelry treasures, and the seaside for shells and driftwood that might work for the next piece.  Then, upon returning home, comes the pleasure of the sorting and organizing and grouping.  It’s crazy, but more importantly, it’s fun. The thing that we all need more of in our lives. 

​I try to keep the pieces consisting of up cycled and recycled materials for the most part, but I also want them to be eye catching.  I’ve found that Amazon is a great source for an assortment of bead suppliers and options, and most of those options are actually quite reasonable.  To be able to add a little bit of brand new bling to each piece, something that is a signature that I can recognize.  Something old, something new, something....you know. 
 
Each creation gets a little more refined and techniques are adjusting and fine-tuning as the days go on.  You’ll have to take my word for that, because before I thought to take pictures of some of the first ones, I decided to gift them for special occasions.  Handmade gifts are always a hit, and what better way to say Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island than by using the gifts of the sea that we receive right here. 
 
I’m loving being immersed once more in something that I loved so dearly, and had forgotten about.  The evenings are different, relaxed and more focused.  It’s a kind of meditation all on its own.  It’s a gift to be reminded of things that fed our childhood passion, because the truth is that those things usually still do.  We come into this world with creative gifts to share, but we get devoured by the busyness of living and providing and forget that those gifts ever existed.  Yet they are still in us to give, in one form or another. 

Take some time, find a quiet place and let your heart wander back through time to who you were before the world started making you into what it wanted you to be.  What were the things you loved to spend your time doing?  What filled your hours with joy and pleasure, and made time pass by unnoticed?  What part of that could you recreate today to bring more of that childlike joy into your grown up, responsible adult life?  It can be done you know.  We all have the right to live more passion filled, joy filled lives, but we neglect to give ourselves permission to embrace that.  The time has come to allow ourselves to pursue whatever it is that feeds our souls and our spirits, because although we think our time is endless, it isn’t.  Don’t waste it being anything other than your happy, authentic, true self.  It’s what the world is waiting for.  

Started the day with a morning tour of the Florence Museum.  I am so glad that we did!  There we had the chance to see some of the most amazing work of Michelangelo. His David was there, as well as a collection known as 'the prisoners', which were a series of sculptures he was working on that had been commissioned by the Pope of the time.  When the commission was cancelled, Michelangelo stopped his work on them and never picked it up again, so the series was never completed, but was truly remarkable!  To be able to see the rough, unfinished markings on the stone from which the art was being extracted was amazing.
Our tour guide, Giovanni, continued with us and showed us the Cathedral, the squares, the statues and the political center.  We eventually ended up at the square of the church where Michelangelo and Leonardo DiVinci are laid to rest. I believe it was called Basilica of Santa Croce. although I am not 100% certain, and in looking it up, I read DiVinci was laid to rest elsewhere, so I may have misunderstood.  Doesn't matter, it was all breath-taking!
After an hour of lunch and shopping, and a lot of rain...but it was time to head to Pisa. The ride was about an hour long, and as we arrived there, the rain started to let up a bit. We were told we'd be taking a train from the bus parking lot to the town center, and when we arrived a little 'MacDonalds' train was waiting for us. It was quite cute, and good for a laugh.
Pisa was remarkable. The tower was what took us there, but the entire center was amazing from the Baptismal, to the Cathedral and finally the tower. It was the first place where we were able to take pictures of the entire inside of the buildings, so it was great to be able to capture some of what we've been able to see and not record before. We had about an hour during which time we found some more wine corks for our collection, met a peddlar from Kenya who gave me a coral turtle for some reason, which is beautiful, but I don't really understand the reason for.  Maybe he just recognized me as being from Turtle Island. 
We ran into Betty Ann and Mike from Niagara Falls, and had a drink with them. Great people, and a great opportunity to get to know them just a little bit better.
When we returned to the hotel, prior to dinner, we went down for a drink and got the names of all the people that we've been chatting to but haven't met before. Paul, Di, Elly, Debbie, Sara, Kate, Sally, Lee....all from Australia or New Zealand.  Very cool!  Very friendly, and very welcoming! 
Dinner was good again, not as good as the night before I don't think. We started with lasagna, followed by a main course of potato, spinach and I think pork.  For dessert we got a bowl of fruit to share amongst our group of six.  That was different! We finished our dinner and headed up to our room, both very tired.  It can be exhausting living your dream while wide awake!  At the end of most days, I can hardly even believe that we are here still, and seeing all that we're seeing!

After lunch, we continued the tour, but it was already almost 4 and decided we'd had about enough bus riding and touring, as my foot was starting to throb after my attempt at jogging last week (really, who did I think I was kidding :) ), and Cecil was  still not feeling 100%. 
We checked out a few of the shops closer to our hotel, went to the rooftop bar for a drink, then headed out to explore the route we'd need in the morning so that we would know where we were going the next morning to catch the tour bus.

For supper we wandered just a little further down the street from where we ate the previous night. We found another little restaurant with tables on the street, and opted to dine there.  I'd say it was likely one of the best meals we'd, Cecil having a Sicilian Salmon dinner, and I the lasagna. 
As the place filled up and got more crowded, a couple were seated beside us, almost elbow to elbow. As we began to talk to them, we realized that they were from Kenora, Ontario! 
They knew so many of the people we know there...it was a little freaky!  We met more neighbors in one day in Rome than on any trip to Winnipeg! We enjoyed an hour or so of great conversation with them then headed on our way. 

By 8:30 our day had caught up with us. We headed back to our room for an early night to be ready to be at Hotel Diana by 7:15 the next morning. Part of us felt guilty that we were not out exploring more of the sites and sounds, but the reality is that there are just more people, honking horns and rushing cars than we can handle more of for one day.  That one of the challenges of being a hill billy in the twenty first century.
We'd never seen so many tour buses coming and going from any city we'd been in before, and the sheer number of tourists was mind boggling, considering it was the last Friday afternoon of September. Not at all what I would consider the busy season....so I wondered what the busy season was like here! 
I still regret that we only had one day here to explore, because I am sure if we didn't have to cram it all into one day, we'd have seen so much  more, but I felt blessed that we actually had the chance that we had. To see for ourselves, as much as we did, while we both have the good health to enjoy it. What a Great day.

Got up good and early, feeling that the sooner we got going, the more we might see. We hadn't even got across the street when a young woman selling tickets for the hop on/hop off tours managed to grab us. It was what we'd already made the decision would make the most sense to us, so we got started by 9, being jostled by dozens of other tourists waiting for the buses.  Why did I ever think I was the only one that might want to tour Rome?
Our first stop was the Colosseum, where we decided to sign up for a tour by someone who could explain it all to us. It was absolutely amazing to be standing in what's left of the building where its estimated 700,000 people lost their lives in the 400 years it was actively used.  What was most amazing, that most of those lives were sacrificed in the name of entertainment.   What a structure for what was available 2000 years ago. It was amazing to see and walk through. 
As we were waiting for the second tour to start, the folks we were touring with began to gather, and I heard one of the fellows say he was from Brandon, Manitoba! Talking to some girls from Calgary! To come so far away and  be bumping into people that live an hour away! Crazy!
The tour included a later tour of the birthplace of Rome, the Forum and the place where Caesar was murdered.  We were walked through the area by a man named Paul who originally came form Denver, Colorado. He'd been in Rome 13 years, studying the history of the birthplace of civilization, and brought much of that history to life for us with his knowledge and his stories. As we sat on a broken piece of a marble column, listing to his tales, we realized that this could easily be a column that Julius Ceasar might have brushed against himself, in his days leading Rome. Crazy to think about, to be in these places that have been part of every history lesson we had growing up as children.

The tour included a later tour of the birthplace of Rome, the Forum and the place where Caesar was murdered.  We were walked through the area by a man named Paul who originally came form Denver, Colorado. He'd been in Rome 13 years, studying the history of the birthplace of civilization, and brought much of that history to life for us with his knowledge and his stories. As we sat on a broken piece of a marble column, listing to his tales, we realized that this could easily be a column that Julius Ceasar might have brushed against himself, in his days leading Rome. Crazy to think about, to be in these places that have been part of every history lesson we had growing up as children.

We found the bus after that, and made our next stop the Vatican. After a long walk from the bus drop off, through the dozens of peddlars trying to sell you their wares, we ended up in Vatican City. One of my fondest hopes had been to see the Sistine chapel, and the statue of David, but the line up of people heading into the Vatican Museum must have been well over 500 people long, and stretched around the entire outside of the circle enclosing the Vatican. I am sure had we decided to push through for the museum tour, we'd have waited in line for 3 to 4 hours, and with that many people ahead of us, I am not sure what we'd have even seen inside. So we made the decision to let it pass, and started making our way back down to the bus stop. We were both getting pretty tired from all the walking, so decided to stop in one of the restaurants on that strip for a light lunch. The prices definitely reflected the tourist area we'd wandered into...but they had chairs, bathrooms and water. I was willing to pay for that!  

We made it safely onto the train, after an easy drop off of the car and two hours of people watching at the railway station. The biggest challenge was standing waiting to board the train when it arrived, not realizing that we actually had to push a button to open the door. I wonder if the train would have pulled away without us, or if someone would have eventually helped us to figure things out had we not moved up to the front of the car and had a steward point it out to us. Regardless, we are on here now.

The sun would soon be setting soon, and the blinds were pulled mostly down on my side of the carriage, but through the far side window I could see mile after mile of olive trees, entwined with the endless stone fences that run among them. We guessed that it must be nearing the harvest time for the olives. The trees are all heavily laden, and every where is the smell of smoke as piles of trashy underbrush have been raked up and lit. It seems that in preparation, the land under and in between the trees has been raked clean, and the scrub burned. Our assumption was that the olives will fall to the ground and be gathered for processing,  and though I'd intended to look into it further the process, as we were intrigued by it, I never did. It would also be interesting to see how big a role the olive industry plays in Italy's economy, as from what we had seen, it must be huge.
Heading north along the coast, it seems that the ground is becoming more fertile and looks to be less stoney and more workable, although the buildings and stone fences remained the same for the time daylight allowed us to observe. 

With a 5 hour train ride ahead of us and the sun will soon set, we settled in for the long ride.  The TrenItalia train we were on didn't have wifi, so the options for killing time were limited.   Luckily there were always books to be read on my Kindle, or the opportunity to grab a bit of shut eye.  We knew it was going to be a whirlwind day the following one, because unfortunately we only had one day to see the sights of Rome.  I always remember my Grandfather saying that it's too bad you can't bank sleep, grabbing a much of it when you can for use when there are things you really want to be doing.  Grandpa was one of the wisest men I ever knew, and I remembered his words as I closed my eyes for a while. 
We made it safely to our hotel around 11pm, tired and ready for a good nights sleep.  The Bettoja Hotel I had booked through Hotels.com was older, the room small, but was all we need for the little time we'd be spending there.
We went to a little restaurant around the corner and had a late dinner of ravioli, and some type of beef  that Cec ended up with when much to his disappointment they were out of salmon. By midnight we were both sleeping in prep for a busy day of touring Rome ahead of us.  

As part of my passion and life plan, I am aiming for Freedom 55!  Therefore, I may receive remuneration from some of my affiliate links!