3 lessons learned, that need to be Remembered!

It is an incredibly glorious day outside.  We are sitting at +24 today, when only last year on this same date we were at -20.  What a difference a year can make, on so many levels.  It truly can boggle the mind. But, no one I know is complaining about this change in the direction of the climate, and I'm certainly not!  I realize each year as I become more clearly and authentically me...that 'me' is not a winter person, so this is wonderful.

It's been a very busy several months.  I, like so many of you, have gotten swept away in challenges and family issues that have not only overtaken my days, but also my sense of self.  In the end it's all good, and we all do what we feel we need to for the people in our lives that we love and cherish, but it's so easy to forget to love and cherish our own spirits during those times.  I have found once again, I am no exception.  It's been a harsh but necessary lesson for me.  One I need to remember going forward from here.

What is most difficult is that even though as strong, educated women who all know these things and realize how important it is to take care of ourselves...the truth is we don't.  Sadly, we only realize how run down and empty we are when it's almost too late, and is going to take way, way to much energy to get ourselves back to ground zero, so that we can once again begin the climb up to where we need and want to be energetically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. 

So here is a list of a few things that I've been reminded that I know I know...but let myself forget that I know I know:

1. We can't say yes to everything...it'll bite you in the butt!  I forgot that little pearl of wisdom a few months ago, when I agreed to do some ancestry research for a family member whose tree is different than mine, or those I've created.  Automatically the answer 'yes, of course I could' came out of my lips when my reality was 'no, I don't have either the time or the interest' and if I was true to myself I'd have said that. But I didn't, and as a result ended up getting the strangest, most disappointing letter requesting that the documentation I'd been given be returned as they felt I was with holding it from them.  NOPE...simply agreed to something that I have no time to pursue, and should have said that from the start.  Lesson learned....NO IS AN ANSWER TOO....Don't be afraid to respond with it!
2. Caregivers need to ensure self-care...I know this like the back of my hand.  My life has been swallowed up by care-giving for almost as long as I can remember, and it's okay.  It's who I am, and what is part of my purpose.  But I also know that I need to take better care of myself when I'm in that role.  Healthy eating, moderate exercise, vitamins, down time.  All those little things that keep you moving forward.  But I didn't.  I gave until there was nothing left, and when the time came that there was some down time, I crashed and spent almost two weeks just trying to catch my breath.  DO NOT DO THAT!  Note from me to you!  Take care of yourself, your body and your energy.  Take your personal time.  Take your pampering time.  Take control and don't give it up.  You need to take care of you first, or there's nothing to be given to anyone else.  An empty glass can not be seen as half full no matter how hard you peer into it, so don't empty your reserves on anyone's account. 
   
3. Create your own sacred space and rituals... I have my space and my routines and rituals.  Things I do just for me, in a space that is designed just to nourish my own soul.  But, as with everything else that can happen, we neglect those things in our effort to make life better or easier for another.  Big mistake!  Hold on tight to those little things, because they are so important, or you'll lose yourself, and you are way to valuable to risk losing!  I remember years ago I asked a dear, dear friend who was ironing her tea-towels why, with all the other things she had going on in her life and responsibility that she lived with daily, did she spend her precious few hours ironing those tea-towels.  Her response to me was 'Lynda, some days that is the only piece of me that I feel is left and recognize.  I have to hold on to that."  I get it now...well I got it then...but I forgot it for a while.  So my morning pages are back.  My sacred meditation time is back.  My office door is closed when I'm doing my 'thing'.

So take a lesson from the book of my mistakes...I will be doing that as well.  Today is a new day.  Tomorrow will be better, it already is just in the remembering!  Do for yourself exactly what you do for everyone else you support!  You deserve it!